Just a few months ago, Eminem's teenage daughter Hailie Jade Scott Mathers was crowned her high school's Homecoming Queen. So, what happens when one of the pretty popular girls finally brings home her boyfriend to meet dad for the first time... especially when the father's Slim Shady?
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DISCLAIMER - this report was originally published by the SATIRICAL website "The Onion" back in June 2013. Therefore, the entire thing is a humorous joke... it's not real.
But what would happen if young Hailie did bring a potential love interest home who was raised on the MMLP2 rapper's angry music? Shady has some harsh feelings towards Hailie's mother Kim, but he'd sacrifice anything for the happiness of his daughter. Ironic, right?
Here's how "The Onion" phrases Eminem's satirical response:
"Justin Denham  said I was his favorite artist when he was growing up, and now he wants to go out with my little girl... Honestly, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do here. How am I supposed to let Hailie go out with a guy who says I was a huge influence on him and all of his friends? I mean, this guy's probably listened to my song 'Kim.' I rapped about cutting my wife's throat and then driving around with her in my trunk in that song. Jesus."
"And his parents let him listen to it? What kind of house was that? I don't even want to think about what kind of people they are... At this point, I suppose it would be ideal for Hailie to date someone who never listened to any one of my songs, ever," said Eminem. "Why can't she find someone who listened to music that wasn't about having sex with prostitutes and then painting a room red with their blood?"
Funny when looked at from the perspective of Shady as a loving father... not as the offensive, controversial rapper that most fans know him as.
Wonder what happens when the Daddy's Girl starts seriously dating... will Shady actually harbor some of these somewhat contradicting thoughts?